The Unknown Parent is a series of musings for Sports360AZ.com from an anonymous parent of athletes. The parent is an Arizona high school sports fan from their time involved in education, coaching and athletics. Want to have your questions or comments featured in future articles? Email TheUnknownParentAZ@gmail.com.
I never thought I’d start a sports blog with a Nelson Mandela quote- then again, I never thought I’d be writing an anonymous sports blog about my experiences as a parent of athletes, so here we go…
At the 1997 International Fair Play Awards, then South African president Nelson Mandela gave a speech in which he said:
“Who could doubt that sport is a crucial window for the propagation of fair play and justice? After all, fair play is a value that is essential to sport!”
Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison due to a lifelong dedication to promoting societal fairness, over issues that were far bigger than sports. Imagine my surprise when I came across a quote in which Nelson Mandela called fairness within sports “crucial” to planting the seeds of fairness and justice in society.
I mean, these are children’s games. It’s hard for me to process that we’re supposed to be planting the seeds for a better world at an AAU tournament or a cross-country meet. Sometimes, all it feels like we’re promoting is concession sales and bleacher butt.
But this last week, I watched as parents in Arizona debated the fairness of allowing a group of California athletes who were deemed ineligible by the CIF to transfer into Arizona schools in the middle of the first quarter. And then I watched as everyone debated the fairness of the AIA calling a meeting to pass an emergency bylaw to close the loophole that allowed these transfers to take place.
It left me wondering- what is fair play in this instance? What is justice?
I asked one of my kids about the situation and they naturally put themselves in the shoes of the kids that were affected by California’s two-year ineligibility ruling. After all, there’s nothing just about suffering the consequences of a scenario in which you were doing what you were told by the authority figures in your life.
None of the transfers ended up at my kids’ school, but on the topic of the transfers, they had this to say:
“It’s unfair to lose your season because you got caught doing something that everyone out there does (accept benefits to transfer), but I get it. I’d welcome them to my team though. They’re going through a lot and they shouldn’t have all their goals go out the window because they had no choice but to follow bad advice. They might show up and take someone’s spot, but’s that’s life. They still have to earn it. They still have to buy in and work hard. It’s not like any of this is easy. If you work for it, you deserve a shot”
On the AIA coming together to pass an emergency rule stopping the flow of mid-season transfers with a September 18 cutoff date:
“It’s a weird rule to put in place midseason, I get that it affects a lot of people’s seasons. I get that it could have an impact on conferences and standings. But it feels like a panic reaction. Do we really think they put the best and most helpful rule in place in an emergency meeting?”
It’s always interesting to hear things from the minds of the kids that are living through the experiences, and aren’t threatened by the prospect of sudden change. All they know is change. They’re versatile, malleable, and resilient. It’s admirable.
But I’m not sure I can agree with my child on this one though- because I can’t escape the thought that these kids’ parents have started a Rube Goldberg process of unending corner-cutting. I can’t even put myself in their shoes, because as involved in youth sports as I’ve been my entire life, I already shape my life around their sports schedules- but my location on the globe?
I mean… uprooting my entire family for what? The chance they get to be tackling dummies at Utah Tech for a year before transferring somewhere closer to me at the first sign of adversity? All because I’ve never fully let them experience the weight of consequences?
Of course, in this situation, it would be the weight of the consequences of my actions… I get that, but it makes it even harder to imagine being in this situation at all. Because to be in this situation, I would have to not only look at my kids excelling at an extracurricular game as the “end all be all” for their lives, but mine.
I don’t know these kids or their home situations. I’m trying not to be judgmental. It’s just hard not to acknowledge the elephant in the room- that high school football would have to be so important that I would put their eligibility at risk for a 5% increase in the chance they play in college… and when that blows up in my face, I’d switch homes, neighborhoods, area codes, friends, and support systems.
And for what? For my 16-year-old tight end?
Am I doing this to make up to my kids for my original mistake? Am I doing it for me? And how am I going to be received by the parents of the kid who spent all year lifting, fundraising, learning the playbook, and traveling to 7-on-7 tournaments, only to have his spot taken by my son, who is only here because we got caught cheating.
And my kid is only eligible at this new school because the AIA, despite going through this same issue last year, didn’t anticipate this as a possibility- but now unequivocally believes it is wrong?
They have to hate me, right? But in this situation, I imagine as a habitual line-cutter, I probably just don’t care. “Dog-eat-Dog” world I suppose… or, Jackrabbit-eat-Jackrabbit.
What does all this have to do with that Nelson Mandella’s quote?
Well that’s my question for you- the reader. How has this situation, and the reaction to this situation, propagated fair play and justice?
Was it just and fair for Arizona programs to welcome these kids, given the circumstances? Was it just and fair for the AIA to slam the door on anyone who seeks to use Arizona as a backup plan to ineligibility issues in California? Is there ever a time when it’s acceptable to forgive a child the sins of their handlers- and if so, will that forgiveness just breed more entitlement and cheating at the expense of those who follow the rules?
I don’t have answers to any of this, so maybe it’s time to just follow my kids’ lead and say,
“Welcome to Arizona. If you want this spot, show me you can do something your parents haven’t shown. Show me you can earn it.”
-The Unknown Parent
The post The Unknown Parent – Fairness and Justice, the California mid-year transfers and new AIA bylaw first appeared on Sports360AZ.
